“If they don’t bring you flowers when you’re dating them, then they definitely won’t when you marry them."

I’d never been fired before. I was a good student. I worked hard. And there I was, looking for a payphone under the Grand Opening sign.

With all that experience holding power tools, I never learned the cardinal rule to unplug them before touching their sharp mechanisms.

When I was eleven, I almost killed all of the children in my neighborhood.

“Why would you pay someone to clip your nails?” my mother questioned when I told her about my first manicure.

I literally missed the train by one croissant from the breakfast buffet stuffed in my purse, one glance back and a hand heart directed at...

Hidden in the drawer alongside spicy mothballs, my father had a gun! Was he a secret agent or something?

I’ll go. To keep the peace, I’m going to go. But I am angry at the cavalier way the decision is handed down.

My daughter wants us to get matching tattoos. It is sweet, really, that a twenty year-old wants to have a body part that looks the same...

Every time I got up to bat, the coach would say, “Let it hit you!” so I could get on base before I struck out.